Here's the new/revised/second attempt at making a workable cover or query letter for my novel "Dragons' Autumn Leaves" (formerly "The Island in the Mist"). This is the first thing that agents and publishers see in their mailbox, and how they decide if the novel is even worth fifteen minutes of their time. If this letter doesn't have the right hook or information, then the agent/publisher will throw out the proposal WITHOUT EVER READING A SINGLE PAGE OF THE NOVEL.
So, to my request. Please read the letter below and give me your opinion about it. Anything spelled incorrectly? Any obvious grammar mistakes? Anything that doesn't make sense? Does it catch your attention? If you were a publisher of fantasy fiction, would you like to read more?
Any feedback you have would be greatly appreciated!
Dear [your name here],
If a sick and wounded dragon appeared on your doorstep, would you protect it, or would you destroy it to save yourself and your family?
Such a ridiculous question had never occurred to Sato, a quiet seventeen-year-old farmhand with small town aspirations. Strange, unexplained things existed on the island, sure, but dragons? Those lived only in his little sister's imaginary games.
That is until the mainland secretly invades the island, and mysterious circumstances guide Sato to the forbidden Fairy's Forest. Deep in the Forest, Sato discovers what the mainland is after: dragons, more real and terrifying than anything he ever imagined, and the last thing that he expected to find. But what he expects even less is when one of those dragons, hunted by the mainland's vicious soldiers, seeks shelter in the family barn. With the mainland growing more aggressive, will Sato and the young dragon overcome their prejudices and work together to save their families and their homeland from the invaders?
The complete, realistic fantasy novel "Dragons' Autumn Leaves" is approximately 154,000 words long. Told from a limited third person point of view, the coming-of-age narrative engages the reader in Sato's physical and mental struggles as he tries to understand himself and the forces seeking to ruin the simple life he's always known. Although written for a general audience, the story's messages of acceptance, courage, and family appeals to all readers. The story does contain some mild language, scenes of intense action, and some violence and gore, but nothing gratuitous.
I have always loved telling stories set in fictional but believable places with action, humor, unique yet relatable characters, and animals with personality. I want to guide my reader on an adventure with heart, and maybe leave them more open-minded at the end. Though I have been writing and studying on my own for years, this is the first full-length novel that I have decided to publish. All I want is to share my creativity with others, and maybe inspire another reader or writer in the process with my work.
Thank you for taking the time to consider this proposal.